Played some online, first in two days went up around 15 buy ins. Then it happened again... When I first win it's somehow impossible to admit your loss and end a session when I'm down. I ended up dropping 20 buyins one stake higher so eventually in one fking session I lost my winnings and went down pretty much the same amount. As normal I was playing a bit too high and 20 buyins really hurts. Feels like a group of rabid monkeys had beaten me up and raped. I don't know if I ever can call myself a poker player as it seems like I never know when everything goes black again and after bad beats I start donating to those same morons who were so easy to read just a day before.

Then the next day I tried another poker room in Hong Kong for the first time. First went up a little bit in omaha and when the game died I played an hour 50/100HKD hold'em. For some reason some retard decided he had a good hand and with ATs and we got in total 14k in pf. I got queens and I obviously lost the "flip". It was just another hand but now it really feels like someone up there has some serious problems with me. The only good thing was that I left the table and didn't tilt any more money away.

I set myself a loosing limit for a single session to 3% of my bankroll as Helppi advised in some of his writing. If I can stick to it I think I can make profit as long as I'm still as interested in poker as now. It's just ridiculous that 5 years of this sick game have taught me nothing and I'm still the same idiot as I was years ago. If I can't stick to my losing limit I'll just quit poker and admit that I'm way too retarded to play.